


Power Outage

by Longitudinalwave



Series: The Flash: Onstage [2]
Category: The Flash (Comics), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28455522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Longitudinalwave/pseuds/Longitudinalwave
Summary: The Weather Wizard broke his weather wand. Oops.
Relationships: Jay Garrick/Joan Garrick, Leonard Snart & Lisa Snart
Series: The Flash: Onstage [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084241
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Power Outage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dillonmania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dillonmania/gifts), [Swashbuckler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swashbuckler/gifts).



> Hi! Thanks for checking out my story! 
> 
> This story doesn't fit at any particular point in canon; hopefully it's fun anyhow.

**_The Flash_** stars in ** _:_ Power Outage**

**Dramatis Personae**

**The Flash (Jay Garrick),** the wise, benevolent hero of Central City

**Joan Garrick,** Jay’s intelligent, charming wife

**Captain Cold,** the earthy, practical leader of the Rogues and Central City’s worst villain

**Golden Glider,** a thrill-seeking, deceptively charming thief and little sister of the above

**Weather Wizard,** a lazy, dimwitted crook who works with Captain Cold

**Script**

Act I 

_ (Enter Jay and Joan)  _

**Joan:** Honey, I’m worried about you. 

**Jay:** Why? Any particular reason? 

**Joan:** I don’t like how you’ve decided to protect Central City all by yourself while Barry and Wally go on vacation together for two weeks. You’re not as young as you used to be, you know, and I don’t want you to get hurt chasing down supervillains who are half your age. 

**Jay:** Why didn’t you tell me that earlier, honey? 

**Joan:** Well, Barry and Wally seemed so excited to be able to get away for awhile, and you seemed so happy to have a chance to come out of retirement, so I was afraid I would disappoint you if I said anything about it. 

**Jay:** Joan, you know me better than that. Sure, I do love a little crime fighting, but that’s not nearly as important to me as you are. If I’d known that you were that worried about me, I would never have agreed to come out of retirement. 

**Joan:** Well, it’s too late for you to change your mind now-Barry and Wally are already halfway to England, and you can’t leave the city unprotected. 

**Jay:** I’ll be careful, Joan. 

**Joan:** Oh, I know you will, dear. You couldn’t have survived this long as a hero if you hadn’t. 

**Jay:** And you’re sure you’re okay if I go out?

**Joan:** I suppose. I just worry about you. 

**Jay:** I know, and that’s why I’m so careful. I know that you’re waiting for me, so I can’t take any unnecessary risks. I can’t bear the idea of my dying and leaving you all alone. 

**Joan:** Oh, Jay, I don’t worry about you because I don’t want to be alone-I worry about you because I don’t want you to be hurt. 

**Jay:** Every hero risks that, Joan. It’s part of the job.

**Joan** : I know, but you’re just so athletic and you love to run. I’d hate to see you get injured and lose your ability to exercise. 

**Jay:** Have I ever mentioned that I’m blessed to have you for my wife? 

**Joan:** Every day, dear, every day-and I’m blessed to have you for my husband. 

**Jay:** Thank you, darling. I love you so much. 

**Joan:** I love you, too. 

_ (Jay and Joan kiss, then Jay’s phone rings and he pulls it out)  _

**Jay:** Hello? Hello, Commissioner. Yes, I am filling in for Barry and Wally while they’re on vacation. Yes, I’ll be at work protecting the city soon. Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Yes, I’m sure I’m still up to the task. I may be old, but I’m as fast as ever. Oh, it’s no problem, Commissioner. I love Central City-I certainly don’t mind protecting it. Thanks, but that won’t be necessary. I don’t need any money. Mmm-hmm. Uh-huh. Tell your wife happy birthday for me. I’ll be sending her flowers soon. And send Officer Johnson my condolences. No one should lose their wife that way. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. All right, Commissioner. I’ll be watching for them. Okay. Okay. Good-bye.  _ (Jay puts phone away)  _

**Joan:** What did the Commissioner tell you? 

**Jay:** He was just checking to make sure that I was ready to protect the city-and to warn me that Captain Cold broke the Golden Glider out of jail, and that they and the Weather Wizard are on the loose. 

**Joan:** Captain Cold and Weather Wizard I remember, but who is Golden Glider? 

**Jay:** If I recall correctly, her name is Lisa Snart. She’s a former ice skater who apparently got bored with her career and decided to turn to crime-and she’s Captain Cold’s little sister. 

**Joan:** A supervillain who’s a woman? Why, I never! 

**Jay:** Villany isn’t exclusively the department of men, you know. 

**Joan:** I suppose that’s true. How dangerous are they? 

**Jay:** It’s hard to say, but since Captain Cold likes to avoid attention, they’re unlikely to try anything too diabolical. 

**Joan:** Well, that’s one good thing, I suppose. 

**Jay:** Agreed.  _ (Pause)  _ Well, I’d better get going. Love you, Joan. 

**Joan:** I love you, Jay. Good luck!

**Jay:** Thank you. Good-bye, dear. 

**Joan:** Good-bye, darling.  _ (Exit Jay)  _ I hope Jay knows what he’s getting into. He’s been retired for a long time, and those villains are young enough to be our children. If he gets himself into trouble, I’ll never forgive myself.  _ (Pause)  _ Well, standing around here and worrying isn’t going to change a thing, so I might as well start making some plans of my own! 

Act II 

_ (Enter Captain Cold and Golden Glider. Weather Wizard is asleep onstage, and a doll and a large necklace are sitting next to him)  _

**Cold:** Stop trying to peek, sis. You’ll ruin the surprise! 

**Glider:** I’m not peeking! 

**Cold:** Oh, what the heck, go ahead and look. 

**Glider:** _ (Sees presents)  _ Oh my gosh! Lenny, you didn’t! 

**Cold:** Happy birthday, sis. 

**Glider:** _ (grabs the necklace)  _ How did you afford this? It’s beautiful! 

**Cold:** Uh….about that….

**Glider:** You stole it for me, didn’t you? 

**Cold:** No! I robbed a bank and used the money to buy it. 

**Glider:** How come the Flash didn’t stop you? 

**Cold:** I got lucky, I guess. 

**Glider:** _ (Picks up doll)  _ And what would this be?   
**Cold:** You don’t recognize that? 

**Glider:** No. Am I supposed to? 

**Cold:** Seriously? You asked for that for your birthday and Christmas like every year! 

**Glider:** I did? 

**Cold:** Uh-huh. Don’t you remember? When I couldn’t find it for your sixth birthday, you cried for like ten minutes and then Lewis beat the living daylights out of both of us because you woke him up. 

**Glider:** Lewis beat the living daylights out of us on like every one of my birthdays. That doesn’t narrow things down much. 

**Cold:** It’s still got the tag on it. Maybe that’ll help you remember. 

**Glider:** _ (Reads)  _ “Lucy”.  _ (Pause; laughs) Lucy? _ The doll I was obsessed with as a kid? But she went off the shelves when I was eight years old. How did you find this one? 

**Cold:** Well, I’ve been scouring garage sales and thrift stores and stuff for the thing around your birthday every year  _ since _ you were eight. The odds were in favor of me finding one eventually, especially given how popular the thing was when you were little, and I finally found this one two weeks ago at that creepy Goodwill downtown. 

**Glider:** Are you telling me that you’ve been trying to find this doll for me for  _ 25 years _ ? 

**Cold:** Of course. Given how much misery the stupid thing caused for both of us, I couldn’t’ve lived with myself if I hadn’t. 

**Glider:** So even though, in the same general time period, you’ve given me 4 different cars, several dozen necklaces, and several thousand dollars in cash, you still felt obligated to get me a doll that I wanted when I was eight just because you couldn’t get me it then? 

**Cold:** Well, yeah. Don’t you remember that I promised you I would get it for you someday? 

**Glider:** Vaguely. 

**Cold:** Well, I finally did! Don’t you like it? 

**Glider:** No.  _ (Cold looks upset, then she hugs him)  _ But I do like you, Lenny. I’m glad you think so much about me. You’re the best big brother in the world. 

**Cold:** Okay, enough with the mushy stuff. I didn’t break you out of prison just to celebrate your birthday, you know. 

**Glider:** Ooh, do you have a heist planned?

**Cold:** You’d better believe it, sis. 

**Glider:** Hurrah! This day just keeps getting better and better! What’s the angle? 

**Cold:** I’ll tell you as soon as I wake up Mardon. 

**Glider:** What’s he doing here? Didn’t he win the lottery or something? 

**Cold:** He did, but now he’s broke-again-and needs a place to stay. Again. 

**Glider:** _ There’s _ a shock. 

**Cold:** _ (To Wizard)  _ Yo, Mardon, look alive! We’ve got a job to pull!  _ (Wizard doesn’t respond. Cold throws a pillow at his head)  _

**Wizard:** What time is it? 

**Cold:** It’s two in the afternoon, you lazy bum. Get up- we’ve got a job to do. 

**Wizard:** But I’m still tired, Cold! I just spent two weeks without a roof over my head! 

**Cold:** Yeah, because you spent all your cash on parties, gambling, and cars you couldn’t afford. Again.

**Wizard:** I was doing it to impress my new friends! 

**Cold:** The friends who skipped town as soon as you ran out of money?

**Wizard:** Yeah. 

**Cold:** I rest my case. Honestly, Mardon, why I bother to keep you around is beyond me. 

**Wizard:** Because of my charming personality and dashing good looks? 

**Glider:** Definitely  _ not  _ that. 

**Cold:** It’s because you have a wand that can control the weather, you doofus! 

**Wizard:** Uh, about that. I may have accidentally kind of broken the wand a couple days ago. 

**Cold:** HOW? 

**Wizard:** Well, I was robbing a gas station when the thunderstorm I created to short out the power grid got a little out of control. I got struck by my own lightning, and the wand flew out of my hand and into a tree and snapped in half. And, uh, I didn’t even actually manage to rob the gas station, because when the wand broke, the thunderstorm cleared up before it could take out the power. Well, that and I was still recovering from the whole getting struck by lightning thing. So yeah. No more weather powers.

**Cold:** Can’t you just-you know-fix the wand? 

**Wizard:** No. I don’t know how it works! 

**Cold:** What do you mean you don’t know how it works? You’ve been using it for like 14 years! 

**Wizard:** I stole it from Clyde, remember? He’s the one who built it! I don’t have a clue how he made it or how it actually produces its effects- I just know it works. Er, worked. 

**Cold:** Clyde? 

**Wizard:** You know, Clyde! My older brother who was better than me at everything! 

**Cold:** Okay, then we’ll just ask him to fix it. 

**Wizard:** We can’t. He’s dead, and he was kind of a recluse, so it’s not like he had any partners who were watching him build the thing. 

**Cold:** Are you telling me that your wand is permanently broken? 

**Wizard:** Yeah, that’s what I’m telling you. 

**Cold:** Well, that’s just great. Now I’m going to have to change my plans, and it’s all because the man who had the most powerful weapon in the world was enough of a brain-dead moron to both never learn how the thing worked and to break it! 

**Glider:** And on his little sister’s birthday, too!

**Cold:** Yeah, and on her birthday, too!

**Wizard:** Sorry? 

**Cold:** You know what? If you don’t have your wand, then you’re useless to me. 

**Wizard:** You’re kicking me out? 

**Cold:** Not yet. You’re one of us, after all-but you aren’t getting a cent from our heists until you figure out a way to either fix the wand or provide some other asset to them, and if you can’t do that in a month, then you’ll have to find someone else’s basement to live in. I ain’t running no charity here, Mardon. 

**Wizard:** Are you saying I’m not a good thief without my wand? 

**Cold:** No, I’m saying that you were a mediocre thief  _ with _ the wand and that you are a  _ terrible _ one without it. Powers or no powers, you’re pathetic. 

**Wizard:** Nobody talks to the Weather Wizard like that! Nobody!  _ (Punches at Cold. Cold catches his punch, and then Glider knees Wizard in the abdomen. Wizard falls to the ground and Cold “freezes” his left leg to the ground with his gun.)  _

**Cold:** Well, maybe no one talks to the Weather Wizard like that, but until or if you fix the wand, you aren’t the Weather Wizard, you’re just Mark Mardon.

**Glider:** And we can talk to an idiot like Mark like that all we want. 

**Cold:** See you after the heist, loser. 

_ (Exit both)  _

**Wizard:** _ (Breaks ice on leg and sits up)  _ How can this be happening to me? A month ago, I was a millionaire and the most powerful crook in the world, and now look at me. I’m broke and my wand is broke and now Cold says I ain’t even the Weather Wizard anymore. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was right about me bein’ a pathetic idiot.  _ (Pause)  _ Oh, who am I kidding? They’re right. Without the wand, I’m nothin’ more than stupid, pathetic Mark Mardon.  _ (Pause)  _ I need a drink or something. Anything would be better than sitting around thinking about how bad my luck’s been lately-or  _ working _ to try and fix the wand! 

Act III 

_ (Wizard is sitting at the bar of a restaurant. Enter Joan)  _

**Joan:** Nothing like a nice cup of coffee to take my mind off my worries.  _ (To Weather Wizard)  _ Excuse me, sir, but is this seat taken? 

**Wizard:** Huh?

**Joan:** I was wondering if this seat was taken. 

**Wizard:** It’s not. 

**Joan:** All right, then.  _ (Sits down next to him)  _ I’m Joan Garrick. Who are you? 

**Wizard:** Name’s Mark. Mark Mardon. 

**Joan:** Are you here by yourself? 

**Wizard:** Yeah. You? 

**Joan:** Well, I normally come here with my husband, but today I’m alone, too. 

**Wizard:** Why? You have a fight with him or something? 

**Joan:** No. He’s just filling in for some friends at work today. 

**Wizard:** Are all your other friends busy, too?

**Joan:** No. As a matter of fact, after I eat lunch here, I’m going to my friend Betsy’s house to help her sew some clothing for her latest grandchild. 

**Wizard:** Boy or girl? 

**Joan:** Girl. Her name is Maria, and she’s only a month old. 

**Wizard:** Is she cute? 

**Joan:** All babies are cute, Mr. Mardon-just like all brides are beautiful. 

**Wizard:** Not according to my baby pictures!

**Joan:** Oh, hush!  _ (Pause)  _ So, why are you here alone? 

**Wizard:** Trust me, it’s not by choice. I can’t stand being alone without my power. 

**Joan:** Have you fallen on hard times, then? 

**Wizard:** Yeah. I’m pretty much broke, and my friends have made it pretty clear that they won’t give me any money until I can help them, which I can’t. 

**Joan:** Are you sure these people are your friends? 

**Wizard:** _ (Shrugs)  _ They haven’t kicked me to the curb yet. 

**Joan:** Don’t you have your own home? 

**Wizard:** Not any more! 

**Joan:** Oh, dear, you are in a mess, aren’t you? 

**Wizard:** No duh, lady. 

**Joan:** Is there anything I can do to help?

**Wizard:** Not unless you’re a millionaire.

**Joan:** No such luck, I’m afraid. 

**Wizard:** Too bad. I could use that money.  _ (Pause)  _ You always start conversations with random strangers in restaurants? 

**Joan:** No. You just seemed to need some company, and since I was alone, I decided to provide it. 

**Wizard:** Why? There’s nothing all that special about me-at least not the way I am now. 

**Joan:** Because I know how it feels to be lonely. My husband is wonderful, but he’s also very busy, so I spent a lot of time by myself before he retired. 

**Wizard:** Why do you love him so much if he spends so much time away from you? 

**Joan:** Because he’s a good man who sacrifices himself for me. The least I can do is make sacrifices for him in return. After all, a big part of love is being willing to sacrifice your own desires for the people that you love. 

**Wizard:** That sounds like an awful lot of work, lady. 

**Joan:** Sometimes it can feel like it, I’m afraid-but it’s worth it to experience genuine love. 

**Wizard:** I think I’ll pass. 

**Joan:** How can you say that? Haven’t you ever loved anyone? 

**Wizard:** No-and no one’s ever loved me, either, except maybe my older brother, Clyde-and that was only ‘cause he felt bad for me. 

**Joan:** Felt bad for you-why?

**Wizard:** Because I was a lazy bum right from the start, that’s why. No ambition-not that there would’ve been much of a point in trying, what with Clyde bein’ a genius and a great athlete and all. Even if I had decided to try, Mom and Pop would’ve liked him better, ‘cause I never coulda been as good as he was. The only thing I was ever good at was getting lucky. 

**Joan:** You sound almost proud of yourself for that! 

**Wizard:** Well, it beats feeling terrible about myself. 

**Joan:** Not if it keeps you from improving yourself. 

**Wizard:** Now you sound like Clyde. 

**Joan:** Well, in that case, I would suggest that you listen to your brother on occasion. 

**Wizard:** I can’t. He’s dead now. 

**Joan:** Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. 

**Wizard:** Don’t be. It was a while ago, and I was never real close to him anyway. He was too perfect. 

**Joan:** Aren’t you close to anyone? 

**Wizard:** No one I don’t work with. 

**Joan:** Well, if you don’t mind, I plan to fix that.

**Wizard:** But you don’t know anything about me! 

**Joan:** I know that you have a dead brother, some questionable friends, and a somewhat self-destructive lifestyle. 

**Wizard:** Oh, believe me, you don’t know the half of it. 

**Joan:** And I won’t pry. Are you up for continuing the conversation? 

**Wizard:** I guess.  _ (Pause)  _ You are the weirdest woman I’ve ever met. 

**Joan:** I know-but I’d like to think I make decent company anyway. 

**Wizard:** You’re better company than my partners, at least. 

**Joan:** That’s always nice to hear. So, is there anything you particularly like to eat? 

Act IV

_ (Enter Cold and Glider)  _

**Cold:** Okay, sis, I’ve taken out the alarms. Are you ready for the biggest heist of our career? 

**Glider:** You bet, Lenny! This is so exciting! 

**Cold:** And you’re sure you’re not mad about us doing this on your birthday? 

**Glider:** Of course not! In fact, I can’t think of a way I’d rather be spending my day. 

**Cold:** _ (Aside)  _ I could think of several ways I’d rather see her spending her day, but if this makes her happy, I can’t refuse her.  _ (To Glider)  _ I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. Now let’s move! 

_ (Enter Jay Garrick)  _

**Jay:** Stop in the name of the law! 

**Cold:** Well, well, well. Look who it is. It’s Grandpa Flash. Aren’t you retired? 

**Jay:** As long as criminals like you are roaming the streets, I’ll never be truly retired. 

**Glider:** Wow. You sound like a really bad Saturday morning cartoon show. 

**Jay:** Perhaps that line was a bit hackneyed, but then again, so are supervillainous bank robberies. It’s not like the two of you invented that idea, you know. 

**Glider:** No, we just perfected it. 

**Jay:** I’ll give you one chance to surrender peacefully. 

**Cold:** And I’ll give you the same chance, Grandpa Flash. I don’t particularly want to beat up an old man like you. 

**Jay:** Old or not, I would never surrender to a criminal. 

**Glider:** Okay then, Grandpa-let’s dance! 

_ (Starts “skating” around him) _

**Jay:** _ (Knocks her down)  _ I don’t dance with anyone but Joan, miss.

**Cold:** Leave her alone, old man!  _ (Shoots at Jay and misses) _

**Jay:** You’re good, son. It’s quite a pity you decided to waste your talents on crime. 

**Cold:** Don’t call me _ son! (Shoots wildly and misses badly)  _

**Glider:** _ (Gets back on her feet and tries to hit Jay from behind, but he catches her punch)  _ Let me go, you old geezer! 

**Jay:** Sorry, daughter. I’m afraid that’s a no can do. You’ve violated the laws of our fair nation, and you must pay the penalty for your actions. 

**Glider:** _(Aside)_ Is this guy for real? _(Breaks Jay’s hold)_ Only if you can keep ahold of me! _(Captain Cold finally manages to hit Jay_ _while Jay is attempting to recapture his sister)_

**Jay:** Nice try, son, but I’ve gotten out of worse traps than this before!  _ (He breaks free) _

**Cold:** DON’T CALL ME SON!  _ (Starts shooting wildly again as Glider begins to enter the bank)  _

**Jay:** _ (Dodges Cold’s blasts and grabs Glider)  _ Oh, no, you don’t, child.

**Glider:** _ (Steps on his foot; Jay screams and releases her)  _ Oh, yes, I do. 

**Jay:** _ (Aside)  _ As much as I hate to admit it, Joan’s worries may be more valid than I wanted to admit. These younger villains are wearing me down pretty well.  _ (Manages to grab the Glider again, only for both to be hit by a wild shot from Cold, who runs over and smashes the ice around his sister. Jay vibrates free a few seconds later, but both villains have moved out of his way in the meantime) _

**Glider:** _ (Aside to Cold)  _ How is it possible that this old guy is harder to fight than the other two? 

**Cold:** _ (Aside to Glider)  _ Never mind that-just get into the bank!  _ (He starts shooting again and Glider moves towards the bank, only to be stopped for the second time by our hero. Cold stops shooting when this happens to avoid hitting his sister again)  _

**Glider:** We’ve got to stop meeting like this, Grandpa. 

**Jay:** Well, if all goes as planned, child, you won’t be meeting me for several years. 

**Glider:** Why do you keep calling me child? I’m your enemy, not some dopey little kid. 

**Jay:** Force of habit, I’m afraid. After all, you and your brother are young enough to be my children-though I would have raised my children to have better manners. 

**Cold:** SHUT UP, FLASH!  _ (He rushes at Jay, who dodges him, manages to keep a hold on Glider, and then handcuffs both of them)  _

**Glider:** Well, this is turning out to be a lousy birthday!

**Jay:** It’s your birthday?

**Glider:** Yeah. 

**Jay:** Then I am sorry that you and your brother were foolish enough to break the law on it, child. 

**Cold:** Stop calling her that. 

**Jay:** Why? It’s not an insult. 

**Cold:** It’s what Lewis used to call her. If that’s not an insult, I don’t know what is. 

**Jay:** Who?

**Cold:** Our “father”. He treated us like trash. If that’s being someone’s child, I’d rather die. 

**Jay:** _ (Aside)  _ So that’s why he kept-pardon the horrible pun-losing his cool. When I called him son, it seems I was bringing back some ugly memories.  _ (To Cold)  _ Very well, then. I’ll stop calling her child. 

**Cold:** Good. No one upsets my baby sister. 

**Glider:** Before you take me away, old man, would you mind bringing me something real quick? It was the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. 

**Jay:** I’m afraid I don’t trust you two enough to leave you alone here. If you want to see it, I’ll have to take you with me. 

**Glider:** _ (Aside)  _ Well, it was worth a shot- and I do want to see it.  _ (To Jay)  _ Okay, that works. The gift’s in our hideout on Seventh and Main. 

_ (Cut to hideout)  _

**Jay:** Which one is it?

**Glider:** The doll.  _ (Jay hands it to her)  _

**Cold:** But I thought you said you didn’t like it! 

**Glider:** Lenny, she isn’t the present-the fact that you spent 25 years looking for her is. Having a brother like you was the best present of all.

**Cold:** Aww, shucks. It was nothing, sis.

**Jay:** Now who sounds like a bad TV show?

**Glider:** It’s still you, gramps.

**Jay:** Unfortunately for the two of you, you still have quite a debt to pay to society. Let’s get you back where you belong.

Act V

_ (Joan and Wizard are still sitting at the counter. Joan has a cup of coffee now)  _

**Wizard:** And then I got a concussion. 

**Joan:** _ (Aside)  _ Well, one thing’s for sure: this fellow wasn’t kidding when he said that I didn’t know the half of his self-destructive lifestyle! In fact, I’m slightly surprised he’s still alive.  _ (To Wizard)  _ And this was before you dropped out of high school? 

**Wizard:** Two weeks after, actually. 

**Joan:** I’m starting to think you might need more help than I can give you, Mr. Mardon. 

**Wizard:** Told you.  _ (Pause)  _ And just call me Mark. 

**Joan:** Well, Mark, have you ever considered seeing a counselor? 

**Wizard:** You mean a shrink? No way, lady. I’m stupid, not crazy. 

**Joan:** Going to a counselor doesn’t mean you’re crazy. In fact, a lot of the time, it means that you’re smart enough to realize that you need help to change. 

**Wizard:** Who said I wanted to change? 

**Joan:** No one-but by your own testimony, you’re responsible for the mess you’re in right now, and nothing will get better for you until you decide to change your life. 

**Wizard:** Seriously, are you sure you never met Clyde? Because you sound just like him. 

_ (Enter Jay) _

**Jay:** Hello, Joan. 

**Joan:** Hello, sweetheart. What a pleasant surprise! 

**Jay:** Well, I already recaptured Captain Cold and the Golden Glider, so I decided to stop by and visit my lovely wife. 

**Joan:** Oh, Jay, stop flattering me. 

**Wizard:** Your husband is the  _ Flash? _

**Joan:** Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to mention that! Mark, this is my husband, Jay Garrick, the first Flash. Jay, this is Mark Mardon. He and I have been having a little chat.

**Jay:** Joan, get away from him-now! 

**Joan:** Why? He’s not bothering me. 

**Jay:** Joan, Mark Mardon is the Weather Wizard! 

**Joan:** You’re a supervillain?

**Wizard:** Yeah. 

**Joan:** When were you planning on mentioning that fact? 

**Wizard:** Well, I wasn’t planning on mentioning it at all, because I assumed that you knew who I was. Although, now that I think about it, your not knowing would explain why you didn’t freak out when you saw me.  _ (Pause)  _ No hard feelings, right? 

**Joan:** I’m not sure what I’m feeling, honestly. 

**Jay:** How long have you been here together? 

**Joan:** About an hour, I think. 

**Jay:** And you never recognized him?

**Wizard:** Well, in her defense, I’m out of costume and you and I haven’t fought much. There wasn’t all that much of a reason for her to recognize me without my gear. 

**Jay:** And you didn’t realize that she was my wife? 

**Wizard:** Nope. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her before. 

**Jay:** Son, if I find out that you’re lying about that and this was a plan to kidnap her or something, you will regret it. 

**Wizard:** Kidnap her? Why? I don’t hate you nearly enough to do something like that-and besides, I’d have to be crazy to kidnap her now. My wand’s been broken for a week, and I can’t fix it, so I’d have to have a death wish to make you angry at me. 

**Jay:** You can’t control the weather any more? 

**Wizard:** Sadly, no-and that means that you won’t be hearing from the Weather Wizard again. Without the wand, I don’t have the talent to be a supervillain, and if word got out that one of the Rogues was back to picking pockets, I’d be the joke of the underworld. I’d rather quit crime than go through that sort of humiliation. 

**Joan:** Well, while I certainly don’t admire your reasoning, I’d say that quitting crime is the best life decision you’ve ever made, Mark. At the very least, it’ll certainly make the city safer. 

**Wizard:** Okay, so now what happens? 

**Jay:** I don’t know. That would depend on whether you’ve committed a crime since you got out on parole four months ago. 

**Wizard:** Why would I tell you if I had? 

**Joan:** Because if you do, he’ll be a lot less angry than if you lie to him and he finds out later. 

**Wizard:** You make a good point, lady.  _ (To Jay)  _ I tried to rob a gas station by knocking out the power, but before I could actually knock out the power or do anything, I got struck by lightning and my wand broke, so I didn’t actually try to steal anything. Is that attempted robbery? 

**Jay:** I’m afraid we’ll have to let a jury decide that, son. 

**Wizard:** And since I don’t have my weather wand, I ain’t about to get humiliated by trying to escape from a guy with super speed and then failing. 

**Joan:** You know, for a man with such limited common sense, it’s amazing how practical you can be when it helps you save face.

**Wizard:** Well, considering I already lost a million dollars and my powers, I’ve kinda had my fill of being laughed at and called an idiot for the year.

**Joan:** So, you can change after all. 

**Wizard:** _ (Shakes head)  _ Lady, you’re something else. I’m not sure if it’s a good something else or a stupid something else, but you’re something else. 

**Jay:** All right, son, time to go. 

**Wizard:** _ (To Joan)  _ See you around, lady. It was nice talking to you. 

**Joan:** I suppose I’m glad you appreciated it. Good-bye, Mark. 

_ (Jay exits with Wizard, then returns)  _

**Jay:** Are you alright, Joan? 

**Joan:** Yes, I’m fine. He didn’t really do anything to hurt me, after all.

**Jay:** Oh, thank goodness. If he’d hurt you, I’d never forgive myself. 

**Joan:** See, now you know how I feel! 

**Jay:** Why, Joan, I think you’re right! 

**Joan:** Have I ever mentioned that I love you? 

**Jay:** I’m not sure. You know how our memories get at our age. 

**Joan:** _ (Laughs)  _ Well, then, Jay, I love you more than you can imagine. 

**Jay:** And I love you to the moon and back. 

_ (They kiss)  _

**Joan:** Oh, that reminds me-I need to go to Betsy’s house! My, I can’t imagine what she’ll think when I tell her that I had coffee with a supervillain! 

**Jay:** The same thing that I do: that you’re the bravest, kindest woman on the face of the Earth.  _ (Pause)  _ Do you want me to take you to her house before I go back on patrol? 

**Joan:** Oh, of course! 

**Jay:** Then your chariot awaits you, my lady. 

**Joan:** Oh, Jay, that’s so cheesy! 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading.


End file.
